Title: James T. Kirk Will Not Be Dissuaded
Author: [personal profile] calicokat
Pairing/Characters: Bones/Chekov, Kirk
Rating: R
Summary: Now that Kirk knows exactly what Bones is up to in the bedroom, he can't possibly let it go.
Notes: Sequel to "The Inner Workings of Faith." Part four in a series.

Star Trek and all related properties © and TM 2009 CBS Studios Inc. and are used without permission.

James T. Kirk Will Not Be Dissuaded
by [personal profile] calicokat

To Jim's credit, he actually buzzed the door, this time. Since that never happened, he was about the last person McCoy expected when he called "Come in."

McCoy looked up from his PADD to see Kirk brimming with giddy enthusiasm, his blue eyes flashing and his grin too-playful. McCoy returned to browsing the medical journal on the PADD's viewscreen.


"What? What'd I say? What have I done?"

McCoy ignored his protests completely.

"No. Absolutely not. I'll see you at mess."

"Maybe I came to congratulate you," Jim shot back, engaging in the argument they hadn't really started. "Maybe I came to wish you well."

McCoy huffed. He could see he wouldn't get any reading done with Jim in the room, but he pretended to keep his attention on the PADD and scrolled down a little in the current article, accordingly.

"What we're doing's not illegal," he rebuked against the allegations Jim had yet to make.

Jim fell right in step:

"By one year."

McCoy got the feeling that, as time passed, he wouldn't actually have to banter with Jim, anymore. They'd meet, or pass each other in the hall, look each other in the face, and he'd go away pissed off appropriately without the conversation needing to take place.

"Believe me. I didn't bust anybody's cherry, I'll tell you that much."

Jim scratched the back of his neck, pulling a face that grew increasingly wistful and contemplative.

"Chekov…why didn't I think of that?"

McCoy looked smug.

"If he wanted sex from a little boy, he wouldn't've come to me."

Jim blinked a few befuddled times and then perked up with his own broad grin.

"I feel better about staying your best friend knowing you didn't actually come on to a seventeen year old." He made some vague gesticulations to the point.

"Please. You can't convince me you check IDs at the bedroom door."

Kirk waved away the details. His brow narrowed in reflection, sharp gaze dissecting the doctor in the chair before him.

"So, is he like 'unf,' or is he clingy?"

McCoy blew out hot air, raising a brow.

"He's my boyfriend, Jim. You don't get to know that."

The captain threw his arms out to the side with his best 'Come on!' look.

"I'm your best friend."

"And are we women?"

"You might be." McCoy could hear Jim's proverbial suckers latching on. "That's a good question! Has he put it in you?"

"Get the hell out of my room, Jim," he ordered to little effect, meaninglessly paging down on the PADD, again. Kirk waited until McCoy's silence rolled over into permission to make up his own mind.

"Damn. Now if I ever tap that it'll be Chekov's sloppy seconds."

"He hasn't—" No. That was the wrong tact. He set the PADD aside and looked Kirk in the eye. "Jim, I lost interest in anything you've got after you made me treat your penis for Dakalan crotch rot."

Jim gawked.

"Hey. It no longer oozes from any of those places. Except the one. And only when I'm turned on – like it's supposed to."

McCoy stared.

"Sometimes? I hate you." The doctor got up, opening the cabinet behind him to ransack for some kind of fortification.

"You're my physician. I feel it's important you maintain a comprehensive medical knowledge of my—"

McCoy shut Jim up the best way he knew how, by shoving a bottle of whiskey in his hands.

"Thank you," Jim redirected, happily. He made his way to the bed and made himself comfortable, covers crumpling beneath his weight. He unscrewed the cap and took a drink from the bottle. "So – any particular reason flyboy hasn't had a turn at the helm?"

McCoy sat back down at his desk, trying not to let himself dwell on that same question.

"If he wants one, he's welcome to it."

Jim settled against McCoy's pillow, swigging generously from the doctor's offering.

"Maybe he just needs some kind of pep talk."

"You leave him alone, Jim, or I'll break your face. That's a promise."

"That's an empty threat," Jim corrected. "I know you'll put it back together again."

McCoy squared his jaw.

"I'm not that worried about this, because Pavel's smarter than you and he's a better person – but for god's sake, Jim, can't you let me have this? Sex isn't a game for me like it is with you."

Jim nodded sagaciously, the gaze he'd turned on the wall growing distant.

"You're right. It's not a game." Another grin and an impetuous glance. "But you will thank me when I get you boned, Bones. Just like you thanked me when I set you up with that Trill."

"It hasn't occurred to you that that was one time out of the thirty I did not thank you for meddling in my sex life?"

"Noope. Still hasn't. My mind's like a steel sieve." Kirk yawned and rubbed at his right eye. "—so, this is the bed where you fuck Chekov." He blinked rapidly as if rubbing his eye hadn't quite cleared his vision. "Shit. Why am I—…" Another yawn. He covered his mouth, this time.

"Because I drugged that bottle with this specific conversation in mind," McCoy assuaged pleasantly.

Jim cursed and took another long chug before wiping his mouth his palm and setting the bottle on the bedside table.

"I can' believe you'd take…" He almost lost the course of the sentence, here, but snagged it back. "—thosh liberties with my health…"

"I can believe it, too," McCoy muttered to himself as Jim's eyes rolled back and his consciousness slipped away. He scrolled the PADD back up to where he'd left off reading and tried to reschool his focus with absolutely nothing nagging on his thoughts. Absolutely not because of Jim.

"Waiting Three Months To Learn What You Didn't Sign On For">>
gblvr: animated gif of McCoy saying 'Oh good, he's seventeen." (Trek -- Bones - Oh good....)

From: [personal profile] gblvr

OMG...how much did I love this series? And Jim! Of course he wants details!

(Also -- thank you for posting to the comm!)
azurelunatic: A red apple with a bite out of it, captioned in Star Trek font "What no-win scenario?" (what no-win scenario)

From: [personal profile] azurelunatic

And of course Jim keeps drinking even after he finds out it's spiked. :D :D :D
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